I like to think as my power as my gift.. What did God give me that I could give back? What did God give me that distinguishes me from other people? I remember being very young and always having a passion for music. Maybe, at about the age of 10 I started to get more involved with music. I learned to teach myself how to sing, but then it occurred to me that if I had to teach myself this talent maybe it is not my gift. But I was wrong. God made sure he instilled certain beliefs in me like never giving up until the goal is reached. With that in my head, I made sure every time I sang I got better and better. The day I finally discovered I could actually sing it made me feel special and different.    I like to think as my power as my gift.. What did God give me that I could give back? What did God give me that distinguishes me from other people? I remember being very young and always having a passion for music. Maybe, at about the age of 10 I started to get more involved with music. I learned to teach myself how to sing, but then it occured to me that if I had to teach myself this talent maybe it is not my gift. But I was wrong. God made sure he instilled certain beliefs in me like never giving up until the goal is reached. With that in my head, I made sure every time I sang I got better and better. The day I finally discovered I could actually sing it made me feel special and different.
    After teaching myself how to sing, I felt a little more confident in my gift. I was growing more comfortable with singing in front of others just to get their opinion. I cared so much about their opinion because I wanted approval. One particular time I remember yearning for approval from others was when I was asked to sing for my Fifth grade graduation ceremony. Me and the other singer Sharon would practice and practice for weeks. During rehearsals we would sing together allowing me to feel more comfortable, it was so fun. She helped me every time I got a little nervous. So the big day finally came, and both of us had to perform. I felt like it was "Do or die" so I still went for it. My hands were so sweaty, and I was getting more and more nervous the closer I got to the stage. Finally, its our moment, and I fell flat. I could not sing. I could not let one word out. I was so anxious that it got the best of me, after all this would be my first time singing in front of my mother and father let alone my entire school. During our performance I knew I was not doing well, so I still tried and finished. By the end, I was still proud. Why? I was proud because I had finally felt like it was like to sing in front of a crowd. Before, I thought I could never do it. Though, I did not do well I always look to the fact that I even took that opportunity.    After teaching myself how to sing, I felt a little more confident in my gift. I was growing more comfortable with singing in front of others just to get their opinion. I cared so much about their opinion because I wanted approval. One particular time I remember yearning for approval from others was when I was asked to sing for my Fifth grade graduation ceremony. Me and the other singer Sharon would practice and practice for weeks. During rehearsals we would sing together allowing me to feel more comfortable, it was so fun. She helped me every time I got a little nervous. So the big day finally came, and both of us had to perform. I felt like it was "Do or die" so I still went for it. My hands were so sweaty, and I was getting more and more nervous the closer I got to the stage. Finally, its our moment, and I fell flat. I could not sing. I could not let one word out. I was so anxious that it got the best of me, after all this would be my first time singing in front of my mother and father let alone my entire school. During our performance I knew I was not doing well, so I still tried and finished. By the end, I was still proud. Why? I was proud because I had finally felt like it was like to sing in front of a crowd. Before, I thought I could never do it. Though, I did not do well I always look to the fact that I even took that opportunity.
    All in all, that was fifth grade. Singing was something I never wanted to give up. I went to middle school and there was a music group there that I joined. But, I loved music more than just being in a little group where we learned about music for forty five minutes. So I began to do covers in my room, and eventually I made some public covers to share with others. Though, I think my gift is singing. If I did not continue to just do what I love and want to learn how to become better I would know how to even use my gift. What got me here was my power to persevere. 


                                                                                   
When I was a Litmitless Child
 When I was a limitless child
 I thought there were so many boundaries                                                               
 No being whatever you put your mind to
No being what ever you wanted to be when you grew up 
But sometimes where you are from, can make you
But Don't let it 
Instead let it take you some here greater
But instead of staying one side minded I looked to the brighter side
And Day by day I grew older
 With a clear mind I tried new things
 Some were good. some were bad
But for every mistake, there can be a lesson
  So never give up
  Keep going 
  No matter what 
                                                                   

Dear Mama, 

    All of my life you have done for me, but I do not want you to think it ever goes unnoticed. I am writing you this letter because I want you to know how thankful I am for having a mother like you. I know this may sound like another cliche thank you to a mother coming from her daughter. But, there is nothing in this world that compares to having a mother. A mother is someone who nurtures you and shows you what love is.  I would not be the person I am today if it were not for you.
    You never failed to let me see the purpose in what you did for me. Not only are you still showing me the ropes to life, you also have another pair of eyes which is my sister looking up to you. Thinking about how I used to be, sometimes leaves me in awe of how much you can help someone with just words of wisdom. For a while, in my younger teenager years I was confused and sometimes did very dumb things. I remember when you used to somehow get yourself to still talk to me and teach me the right way to handle things. You never failed to tell me "One day Janely, your going to be like wow my mom was right". It amazes me how right you actually were. 
    There is nothing like having a mother that does not give up on you when sometimes she probably should have. But a woman needs someone as nurturing as a mother could be. I feel like because you had me at such a young age that it sort of feels like we grew up with each other. There were days that you made mistakes. But you learned from them and so did I just by watching you. It felt like it was just me and you against the world. I always knew you would do anything you had to just so that I could be the young woman I am today. A lot of people always tell me that they get a mother vibe off of me, and I always think it is because of you. You raised me to always look at myself and never think of what I am doing as perfect, there is always room for improvement. Me knowing that there is always ways to better yourself allows me to want to help others. I do not try to be intrusive on peoples ways, I just try to get them to see the positivity in different situations. But, just like you I know I could be a better woman. I wish to be as strong as you are. You are the strongest woman I know when it comes to handling life's hardships for your kids. I want my kids to feel as secure as I do knowing that I have a mother that is willing to protect me with her mind, body and soul; and for that I will always love you and my gratitude for you being my mother is endless. 

 ♥

                             Who am I without you
                             When everything I am wouldnt exist if it weren't for you
                             Whatever you may need 
                             I hope you know you can call your daughter, Indeed
                             There will never be a day that I turn my back
                             For I wouldn't be able to live with the fact
                             That I didn't hold you down when things fell down
                             Your struggles are our struggles
                             There could never be another love so unconditional 
                             In addition to, they things you do
                             You never let me forget to
                             be grateful for you 





    

Not So Plain Jane

       It is always weird to start off an essay about yourself, so this is my weird sentence that perfectly describes me. I am just a small Latina woman in this big overwhelming world. I am from Boston. Boston has raised me all my life, and I would not have it any other way. Somewhere, in some point of time both of my parents met and made me; a puerto rican baby in Boston. What is so special about being Puerto Rican in Boston? There is not anything quite special about that, But me being Puerto Rican gives me the pep in my step and me being from Boston lets people know I am a rough city girl. 

         This world can seem so small sometimes when you have not figured out what makes you happy. Once you figure out what brings joy to your life, doors open, the world opens up just a little more for you. When I was about 8, I lived with my mother and grandmother along with her other children. My grandmothers children were only a few years older than me. My uncles and aunts felt like they were my siblings that I never had just because we were so close in age. When we were young we loved listening and dancing to music. Until, one day I was intrigued by not just the music but the art in the person singing the song. I felt like there was nothing cooler than being able to sing. Days passed, and I could not forget the singers art in her voice. I wanted to be able to do exactly what she was doing. So, I told myself I would teach myself, because I knew my mom did not have enough money to pay for a singing coach. I stuck to practicing for years. Even when I knew I was not so good at singing I still watched countless videos to persevere and become a great singer. Now, here I am where people ask me to sing on their songs. Looking back, I did not think I could actually teach myself something this artistic. I thought that I had to have the natural talent, and maybe I did, but that means I brought my natural ability to sing to the next level by teaching myself other styles of singing. I have never let go of singing since, because it is what gives me my joy. I would not be Janely if I could not sing. Singing allows me to free myself whenever I am angry, sad, or even happy. I believe people need their own escape in this world. This world is huge and there are endless problems that we encounter but as long as we find our escape we are at our own peace. 

         Growing up, I have a close relationship with my mother and father. But, because my mother raised me as a single mother I have a closer relationship with her. Most people would say I am just like her. My mom had me at a very young age, so I like to think of it as if we grew up together. I was there for her mistakes when she was not wise enough as she is now. I am a reflection of my mother. I always try to think about how I am different from her, but I can never think of many differences. My friends would say I get my passion from her. They believe I am passionate because I will never let go of something or an Idea if I believe in it. Whether I am right or wrong about something, I will always let it be known about how I feel about the particular situation without fear or intimidation. My friends would also describe me as a very sensitive person. One thing about me is that I am very emotional because it is hard for  me to hide my feelings. I would say I do have my obvious differences from my mother but I get a lot of my traits from her. 

I - I

M- Must

A- Always

Y- Yearn to become better

N- Never say Never

O- Overturn your struggle

T- Teach

U- Urban

N- Neglect Negativity 

D- Dreams bigger than my reality

E- Eternal happiness

R- Respect

S- Strive

T- Try

A- A young queen

N- Never Settles she Seeks

D- Dont give up

T- There are endless possibilities

H- However, You may get caught in lifes crazy but 

E- Even when life gets you down

G- Go Harder

O- Overturn struggles

O- Our problem is that we

D- Dont push eachother to become the young

I- Intelligent people that we truly are

N- Never let anyone tell you differently

T- Things never get easier they get 

H- Harder

I- If you

S- Stop Now You will feel 

S- Stuck

I- In a box

T- That you put yourself into

U- Usually 

A- All of us 

T- Tend to give up on oursleves

I- Instead, lets change and 

O- Overcome 

N- Now lets all motivate one another to

Y- Yearn to become a better person

E- Evaluate

T- The

B- Bad and outweigh the good

U- Unique

T- Trust

I- I am 

T- Thankful for the life that

I- I live even though I do not have everything I want

S- Someday I will get 

T-There

H- Hardship

E- Educated

R- Rambunctious

E- Emotional