Free Write

        This week I have done a lot of thinking about my Step father who passed away. Then I started to think about Death and what we have to be accustomed to. When we lose close family members or friends, the world still goes on. In some weird way, we (ourselves) are able to push through every single day battling the depression or hurt from losing someone. Sometimes we do not notice how we are our own saviors. The world does not stop moving because of a loss, people still have jobs to go to and families to feed. You see a lot of that yourself when you actually do lose some one. You think to yourself how am I going to sleep knowing this person is gone? How am I going to go on tomorrow without them here? But because of the frequent chaos that happens in this world we get lost into it too and it actually helps us to move on and put things like a certain death "behind us".

        At first when my step father passed away i felt as if my life was crushed. I tried to look up but all I could see was down. I tried to look at it as an angel was now on my shoulders. Guiding me. Teaching Me. Loving Me, because family is family, and that will never change. However, it did take a toll on all of us. Destiny, my little sister was left without a father. And my mom no longer had her partner, her heart. Now… it was different. Things were harder to adapt to, but we managed. What could change anything? Nothing but time. Time healed me. And eventually led me to realizing certain things. Learn to never take anyone for granted because you never know when you might lose them. This changed me. Holding my head up high because I had someone watching over me now.

        Embracing the fact that death is one of those things that break but make you, I was slowly learning that. I experienced this death because my higher force knew it would make me a stronger woman. There is beauty in death. From death happiness and the sense of strength comes over you to overcome life’s toughest battles. Even though I am not over filled with joy that my stepfather has passed, it was an experience that changed me for the better. You have to learn how to appreciate things better, and most importantly how to love better. I appreciate all the pain it caused me because it made me able to look at life with a better outlook. I now know to look at life in a positive way, because there is always happiness at the end of the road.