Personal Legends

        Many people believe in personal legends and I am one of them. Personally, I believe mines is to teach others. Currently, I am battling between two things that I enjoy doing which is makeup and teaching younger kids. However, I feel as though my general purpose in life is to teach others.

        When I pass away I want people to remember me as someone who enjoyed helping the younger kids. I want to be that person in the neighborhood that all of the little kids love. I hope to become a role model for kids. If I stay in school and remain positive minded I believe I can be the person that kids need to see growing up more often. When I get older I do want to love away from where I grew up but not too far. I plan to reside close enough to still be able to be involved in my community.  I also plan on being active in local communities, freely giving of my time and talents to benefit people. 

        Being remembered as good proactive teacher also mirrors the general concept of being a role model for children. I believe when children are young it is very important that the are around people who are positive influences because it sets goals for them and ultimately motivates them to also achieve their personal goals in life. I would like to be able to teach others to love themselves and to never let hardships stop you from the things you want to achieve in life. Where there is a will there is a way. 

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Look around 

Not down

For I am gone

I'll be back by dawn

Life can get wild when we're caught in the world wind

But what is there in life to win?

Peace. Success. Love

Hold onto your innocence 

Somewhat like a dove

When you need me

Look above

I'll still be with you

Just like I used to

Remember me by my jokes

And the times we didn't want to end...

For it won't be long

Until we meet again

"That's all Folks"

Week 13 Poem

Yo check it 

Im real nice with the way that I talk 

When my alarm clock goes off

I get the job done and leave you in shock

I treat people kind

Keeping their needs in mind

That always makes a difference within due time

It sets you apart 

Dodge the negativity like a dart

Be the person who does things from the heart

No matter where you work 

You will always deal with other people

So never act like a jerk

Get the job done and Murk..

The competition

for being the best at what you do is your only mission

Week 13.

        I have recently quit my job that I was working for, for eight months at Alltown Market and picked up a new job. I am now working as a substitute for Bright Horizons. Therefore because I legit just started the job and only worked one day so far I will talk about both of my jobs.
        One thing I always liked about my job at Alltown was that I did not have to do much when I worked. I was just the cashier, so I did not have too many things to be responsible for. Being the cashier was also very simple, so I liked it because I only had to worry about my register and I was very good at handling their money. I feel like it is always a good feeling when your job is very simple because then it starts to feel like your getting paid to do nothing. When I worked there I always appreciated how simple my job was.
        Now that I am working for Bright Horizons I see a lot more thins that I like. One of the things that I love about this job is that I pick my own days to work. Although, that can be bad sometimes I have been lucky so far to find enough shifts so that I am not left without a shift. I like that I can pick my own days to work because sometimes school and require me to have a lot of homework and I need extra days off to also do my homework. Some jobs frown upon when a student has to require so many days off for school. Even if it is not for school I can have a day just for me to have fun or either lay back and relax and to me that makes me happy. It does not make me feel so pressured to work.
        The other thing I like about my new job is that I do not have to wear uniform. I just have to be dressed in a casual business style. I used to have to wear uniform at my job at Alltown, and I hated it. The uniform was so ugly and all the other employees also hated it. I always loved dressing up so I love the fact that I can be myself more at my current job. I feel like I appreciate this more because I was required to wear a uniform that I hated at Alltown so now I tend to appreciate this small factor a tad bit more.

The wider path

                      My Ultimate Future

My plan A is to have a beautiful family and kids and it would go a little something like this...

"Finally I get to open my eyes after this deep sleep I was in" is what I thought to myself. I stretched and took a glance at my beautiful gifts lying beside right beside me. My two baby girls and my husband lay still asleep in the beautiful home we worked hard to buy. I got up and walked to the room that was designed for me to have my "me time". I liked to enjoy my mornings here because it was a peaceful setting. I finished lounging and had to get ready for work. I had to head to my other children. My students. I work with kindergartners and I loved it. After I got myself ready for work, I had to wake and prepare my girls for school.  Every morning I looked at them and it was all so surreal. I had my beautiful kids and an amazing husband that helped me create them. I thanked God every morning for the simple blessings of just sending my precious daughters off to school.

Unexpected Turn
         However, things do change but not always for the worse. If things were to change in my life this is how I think it would go because I can't predict any bad things happening in my life.
        I always loved makeup and applying it on others. I found myself bored sometimes because all I did was teach and spend almost all of my time around children. So I had to find something else I enjoyed doing that could also take my mind off things. I came up with the idea of doing makeup tutorials and posting them onto my YouTube and other social media accounts. Overtime my popularity grew within the YouTube social site. People actually liked what I was doing. They liked what I was doing so much that some people even asked to pay and have me do their makeup. Things started to pick up, money was coming in and I was happy. I was doing both of the things I ultimately loved. Then, one day I awoke and prepared myself for a YouTube tutorial that I wanted to record. Like always, I checked my email first when I logged into my computer. I noticed a strange new email from an account I didn't recognize. I opened the email and it read that the manager for the Victoria Secret models was looking for a new dynamic makeup artist. The told me they loved my craft and how I was using it and if I would be interested in doing makeup for the models during major runway events. My heart dropped on the floor. I was shocked but so thankful for this opportunity. I was jumping up and down and ran to my husband and shared the news with him. Finally, after celebrating for five minutes I replied to the email taking the opportunity. I continued the rest of my day thinking of how the next few years of my life could possibly change.
1 month and a half later...
Me and the manager whose name was Kiko often communicated. He presented me with one of their major events and was wondering if my time was free for the fashion week weekend in New York City. Some of the models were going to be part of one of the shows and I was more than excited to be be able to help ass my creativity. Of course, I said yes immediately especially after Kiko mentioned how much I would be getting paid for those three days. I was going to get paid 30,000 dollars just for being their makeup artist for that one weekend. I could only imagine how the next opportunities that would be presented to me would also make me a lot of money. Life was going to be great and I was more than excited for the future because now I was doing both of the things I love having enough time to avoid stress.

Growing up is hard to do.

So silent life was

Listening for God's will

Hoping I can hear him

Speak directly into my heart

God will always be with me 

As long as I hold onto him

He will guide me

To a path of happiness

Growth 

But with mistakes too

One cannot be so great without being wise

And with being wise requires trials and tribulations

Holding on 

God will show up for me

He will rescue me at my worst 

Showing me that Life is about Trials and Tribulations

In the end life is full 

Life will be worth it

My sunny days will last 

The rain will only pass...

Visuals Journal Response & Poem

        Looking into the future I just see positivity. I hope to see positivity is what I should say. However, with such a want for positivity in my life can allow me to ignore the negativities that surround me everyday. I hope that I never stop trying to become a better me. The reason I picked most of those pictures, was because they made me feel the most clear. I feel as though if those things were to happen in the future I would have much more clarity on life. My life would be the most calm and relaxing if certain things that I want in my future would take place. I just want to be happy, and though it sounds cliche` I believe it is achievable.

   In a grey world

In certain places you find color

Color so bright

That makes you think how did I miss this

Happiness is sort of like that

Learning from mistakes

With the world working together to help you become better

When you finally know what you want in life

You feel like you should have been knew your wants

Your dreams and your passions

But it is never too late

Hold on to your dreams 

When you finally get a hold of them

because then...

the world blooms of color

Vision Board

"The only way to not let History repeat itself is knowing where you came from"

Learn something new everydayTeach the Kids, Love the kids !

"Never Take Life for Granted"

Passion Poem

It doesn't matter What you want to beAs long as it makes you happyMusic clearly, enlightens our days, Makes us happy, in so many waysJust like music there is beautyIn a world full of ugly thingsWe get to paint a beautiful world instead To be living life unhappyis what I dreadI want to dance hand in hand with my passionsMy heart will lead happiness will lingerIll grab my dreams tighterSo that they can lift me up higherI want to dance slowly and closely with my dreamsDont miss a stepFor your dreams and passionsmay outdance you and then what would you be left with?

Passion

        Throughout the world there are people who have a certain passions for living. Everyone's passion may differ, but we all have the same goal in life. We all eternally want to be happy, but because we notice what truly makes us happy, sometimes the smartest route out. Sometimes I tend to think about what I enjoy doing versus what I can make good money doing. Some of the things I enjoy doing is singing and doing make-up. In a world that I could chose to do what truly makes me happy everyday I would chose to always do make-up on myself and others, and I would sing all day everyday. 

        It is very difficult to connect your passions with your career most of the time. It becomes very hard to connect the two because sometimes they are two very different things that cannot come together. For example, doing make-up for others can be very oppositional from teaching. However, in one small way they do connect. If I mastered how to do make-up I could also learn how to teach it to others. I could become a make-up instructor. Furthermore, with singing I could possibly do the same. However, I do feel as though singing connects with my career more than doing make-up does. I could become a music teacher for children and teaching would relate to my career path because I would still be able to work with younger people and help them master their craft.

        I would love to work with children for the rest of my life.However, I believe that if I had to provide a service it would appeal more to adults when it comes to the make-up aspect. It would benefit the community because it would allow women or even men to feel beautiful. I could also teach them, so that they could be able to provide the same things for themselves. It would be very beneficial for them because they would be able to now feel glamorous and share what they learned with others as well. They would be able to know what it is like to get pampered. They would get to live out a glamorous day that normal hard working people hardly get to experience. I cannot come up with a specific cause that I would take part of, but I know that I would want to motivate people and make people feel better about themselves. 

5 Haiku's

 5Things to be Grateful For 

1. Work

2. Mistakes

3. Time

4. Family

5. Your Name

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"Wow my first paycheck"

I got paid a good pay check

Just to do nothing

I messed up this time

But it wont happen again

Mistakes happen once

Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick

As time goes so do we, too

Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick

My favorite part

The people I love the most

None can take your place

Janely Pagan

These are the things that make us 

So what is your name?

Gratitude

        In life I always thought it would be best if I didn't take people or things for granted. Ever since, my step father had passed away I learned to never take someones presence for granted. However, that moment made me realize I certainly take people for granted, that is why I was so devastated. It has been years since my step father left this earth, and one thing I cant seem to change is that I still take people for granted. I am the type of person to appreciate the little things and never forget that. I believe that is what gets me so invested in a persons life. When I get to know someone I always love the good times and I fail to realize those "good times" can turn into "bad times" in an instant. Things can turn for the worse when someone passes away, but people can also leave your life in different ways.. And that's what I forgot.
        No matter how you think your life is, it is a gift. So many individuals don’t get a chance to make it as far as you did. It may be hard to think about the struggle in your life, but luckily life gives us time. Time heals all. Even when our lives are going absolutely wrong, we look to the future because it is time that will allow us to get through our battles. I learned to be grateful of my life. Family and friends are always something to hold tight to and be grateful for. Friends are the family you picked. Think of the crazy inside jokes, the embarrassing memories, and the fact that they’ve always got your back. Ones family can also be one thing to never want to let go of. Your family is like being your biggest fans while still remaining to be your truth and honest critic. Be grateful for that priceless relationship from friends and even family.
        Reflecting on my ways I do notice that I need to improve on accepting my mistakes and appreciating where I am at so far in life. I believe it is a good thing to "take in" your mistakes. If you don't own your decisions, you may never see the wrong pattern that your making. Accepting your mistakes can lead to a better you. There are certain things that I need to take in more, even the little things like having a job. I always seem to complain about my job, but I think I should learn to look around and see that others would work where I work if they could. Some people are in tougher situations and it makes their day by day living even harder. If I appreciated the fact of simply having a job, I would have a better understanding of other peoples lives and struggle.

Free Write

        This week I have done a lot of thinking about my Step father who passed away. Then I started to think about Death and what we have to be accustomed to. When we lose close family members or friends, the world still goes on. In some weird way, we (ourselves) are able to push through every single day battling the depression or hurt from losing someone. Sometimes we do not notice how we are our own saviors. The world does not stop moving because of a loss, people still have jobs to go to and families to feed. You see a lot of that yourself when you actually do lose some one. You think to yourself how am I going to sleep knowing this person is gone? How am I going to go on tomorrow without them here? But because of the frequent chaos that happens in this world we get lost into it too and it actually helps us to move on and put things like a certain death "behind us".

        At first when my step father passed away i felt as if my life was crushed. I tried to look up but all I could see was down. I tried to look at it as an angel was now on my shoulders. Guiding me. Teaching Me. Loving Me, because family is family, and that will never change. However, it did take a toll on all of us. Destiny, my little sister was left without a father. And my mom no longer had her partner, her heart. Now… it was different. Things were harder to adapt to, but we managed. What could change anything? Nothing but time. Time healed me. And eventually led me to realizing certain things. Learn to never take anyone for granted because you never know when you might lose them. This changed me. Holding my head up high because I had someone watching over me now.

        Embracing the fact that death is one of those things that break but make you, I was slowly learning that. I experienced this death because my higher force knew it would make me a stronger woman. There is beauty in death. From death happiness and the sense of strength comes over you to overcome life’s toughest battles. Even though I am not over filled with joy that my stepfather has passed, it was an experience that changed me for the better. You have to learn how to appreciate things better, and most importantly how to love better. I appreciate all the pain it caused me because it made me able to look at life with a better outlook. I now know to look at life in a positive way, because there is always happiness at the end of the road. 

Blessings in Disguise

   

 It was my Senior year, and like no one else I had no idea of what I wanted to become in life. I felt lost. For the first time in my life I was confused and did not know how to find a solution That I would be happy with.Towards the end of my senior year, we were told we would not need to come to the last month of school. Instead, we were assigned internships. The internships ranged from a couple sites because everyone's interests were different. We had to pick an internships that corresponded to our career path, so that we could get some early experience. But, because I did not know what really interested me, my teacher picked one for me instead. She chose an elementary school, because she felt as though I would be good with younger kids. 
    Once I got the news of what my internship consisted of I was immediately upset. My anxiety got the best of me, and fear was what was to blame. I was battling the fear of working with new people. I was also battling the fear of intimidation because the school I was assigned to was bilingual. This meant that I had to at least be a good basic speaker in Spanish. This scared me because I knew I could not speak Spanish as well as I understood it. However, I could not change the assignment, I had to just deal with it and hope for the best.
    It was the first day, and I woke up extremely nervous. I was not prepared to work with kids let alone in another language. I got inside and noticed immediately every one was speaking English. I was relieved because now I know I was not expect to speak fluent Spanish as soon as I got there. Later on that day, I asked about the fact I noticed they were speaking English and the teacher told me that they rotate between two weeks on English and Spanish. One week they dedicate to learning in English, and the second week they rotated to learning in Spanish. By then, I was pumped. She also told me during the week that the students are learning in Spanish I am not expected to only speak Spanish but I should try to learn the language just like the students are expected to. Weeks went by, and I enjoyed my internship so much. I had started thinking that perhaps this might be the career path I follow since I enjoy it so much. Ever since that internship I had loved working with kids and plan on teaching the same age group. 



                                             Alchemy
When I was little I thought life was so simple
I knew what I wanted to be
and Where I wanted to go
But as I got older 
These things seemed to get further
Each person you tell your dreams to 
May not see them coming true
Stay positive and stick to what grows you
In due time, you will start to notice 
That without everyones opinions 
You may bloom like a lotus
Everyone wants to find what their purpose is
But will all of us ever find one?
If we let go and let God
We can see the bigger picture in our job
Our job here is to figure out a reason
A reason to live, laugh, and love
Without any of the above
We will live a life full of emptiness
When the goal is to be overly consumed in happiness

Laggin at E.B.L

I used to work for this place that makes clothes

Where they used to always make me fold

And I was always told

to never go home unless these clothes were neat

We were expected to never miss a beat 

Always had to sweep and mop

This job was such a flop 

We could never get more hours

And I worked with a bunch of downers

I hated getting sneakers for customers that were so picky

Some of them were so picky and ditsy

They didnt even know their own size

But I still had to abide

and follow rules and cater to them

But I hated catering to peoples needs

Though sometimes 

there were times it was a good deed 

because believe it or not 

all types of people come into the store

it may be people you haven't seen before

but some people do need help with the simple things

like whats their size and how to tie a shoe string 

Me vs. Experiences

    For every different thing "us humans" go through, we always notice something different. The good thing about experiences is that it can teach you a lot about yourself, and others. The bad thing about experiences is that it may not always be a positive outcome. t is very crucial for a person to experience different things in life, so that they are given a chance to see through a different perspective. I remember three specific events that allowed me to unconsciously understand what type of character I am. When I was part of an all girls singing group, joining a cheerleader squad, and applying to college were all experiences that helped me understand myself a little more clearer.
    When I was about fourteen years old, I was extremely interested in music. So interested, that I decided to join an all girls singing group that was ran by my past middle school teacher. Two others girls were also in the singing group. I stayed in that group for about six months. During that six month period, we were told we had one official show booked for us, so we then rehearsed for weeks and weeks. After awhile, I started to realize how much work and time I had to put into something like this. The fact that I was already in school, over time made me feel overwhelmed. Though I loved music with a passion, I learned that I did not want to make that my career. School was always something very important to me and I could not give up my personal life for a music career. I started to struggle in school, and that is when I knew it was time to "throw the towel in". I loved the experience because it was so much fun but sometimes life is not all about fun when you have bigger things you want to focus on.
    During my freshman year of high school, I joined my high schools cheer-leading squad. The squad was called the Titans, and our mascot colors were blue and gold. I remember always being so happy to perform at the basket ball games to show off our new cheers we had learned. Cheer leading was one of the most positive things I took part of in high school. I loved the Titans so much because it was all based of girls. and we all were like sisters. After all we spent so much time together it was bound to lead us into a greater friendship. I was in the cheer leading squad for my freshman and sophomore year. I finally dropped cheer leading because I wanted to start working more. There were things that I wanted, that my mom could no longer provide for me. In that cheer leading I learned that I could actually be a good friend and very uplifting to others. It helped build confidence and help others, and that is something you cannot teach. I was very glad to experience being part of such a positive cheer leading group.
    When my high school year was coming to an end, it was time to graduate. But we could not graduate without applying and being accepted to at least one college. Applying to colleges was such a stressful process. We had to write tons of essays for applying to different schools, and scholarships. By the time we had to wait on our acceptance, we were totally exhausted. We were told the acceptance letters would take weeks and even months. Luckily, a few weeks into the waiting process I cam home to a letter. I remember the day like it was yesterday, I had had such a terrible day at work and came home to a letter from Anna Maria college. My heart fell to the floor as soon as I saw the letter, so I ripped the envelope open carefully. The first words were "congratulations" and the rest of the letter began to talk about how I was accepted and the next steps I could take into being their student. I got to the end of the letter and began reading that I also won their 5,000 a year scholarship. I was jumping up and down so fast I could not control my excitement. I was so blown away that they had also given me a scholarship. After celebrating, I took the letter to my school where they also were so proud of me. But when me and my advisor went over all of the expenses and processes that you have to go through when applying for colleges we realized I would be in a financial hole. It hurt me to give up something that sounded so good, but I had to look at the long run. Would I be happy If I am in debt and in college? I decided no, and applied to Bunker Hill Community College and got accepted. Ever since, I have been an enrolled student still carrying out my education plan.
    I learned to not give up on your passions because those are the things that make us happy. Experiences are times of our lives where we realize what is going on around us and what we like and don't like. If it were not for experiences there would be no logical way of "getting to know yourself".

    I like to think as my power as my gift.. What did God give me that I could give back? What did God give me that distinguishes me from other people? I remember being very young and always having a passion for music. Maybe, at about the age of 10 I started to get more involved with music. I learned to teach myself how to sing, but then it occurred to me that if I had to teach myself this talent maybe it is not my gift. But I was wrong. God made sure he instilled certain beliefs in me like never giving up until the goal is reached. With that in my head, I made sure every time I sang I got better and better. The day I finally discovered I could actually sing it made me feel special and different.    I like to think as my power as my gift.. What did God give me that I could give back? What did God give me that distinguishes me from other people? I remember being very young and always having a passion for music. Maybe, at about the age of 10 I started to get more involved with music. I learned to teach myself how to sing, but then it occured to me that if I had to teach myself this talent maybe it is not my gift. But I was wrong. God made sure he instilled certain beliefs in me like never giving up until the goal is reached. With that in my head, I made sure every time I sang I got better and better. The day I finally discovered I could actually sing it made me feel special and different.
    After teaching myself how to sing, I felt a little more confident in my gift. I was growing more comfortable with singing in front of others just to get their opinion. I cared so much about their opinion because I wanted approval. One particular time I remember yearning for approval from others was when I was asked to sing for my Fifth grade graduation ceremony. Me and the other singer Sharon would practice and practice for weeks. During rehearsals we would sing together allowing me to feel more comfortable, it was so fun. She helped me every time I got a little nervous. So the big day finally came, and both of us had to perform. I felt like it was "Do or die" so I still went for it. My hands were so sweaty, and I was getting more and more nervous the closer I got to the stage. Finally, its our moment, and I fell flat. I could not sing. I could not let one word out. I was so anxious that it got the best of me, after all this would be my first time singing in front of my mother and father let alone my entire school. During our performance I knew I was not doing well, so I still tried and finished. By the end, I was still proud. Why? I was proud because I had finally felt like it was like to sing in front of a crowd. Before, I thought I could never do it. Though, I did not do well I always look to the fact that I even took that opportunity.    After teaching myself how to sing, I felt a little more confident in my gift. I was growing more comfortable with singing in front of others just to get their opinion. I cared so much about their opinion because I wanted approval. One particular time I remember yearning for approval from others was when I was asked to sing for my Fifth grade graduation ceremony. Me and the other singer Sharon would practice and practice for weeks. During rehearsals we would sing together allowing me to feel more comfortable, it was so fun. She helped me every time I got a little nervous. So the big day finally came, and both of us had to perform. I felt like it was "Do or die" so I still went for it. My hands were so sweaty, and I was getting more and more nervous the closer I got to the stage. Finally, its our moment, and I fell flat. I could not sing. I could not let one word out. I was so anxious that it got the best of me, after all this would be my first time singing in front of my mother and father let alone my entire school. During our performance I knew I was not doing well, so I still tried and finished. By the end, I was still proud. Why? I was proud because I had finally felt like it was like to sing in front of a crowd. Before, I thought I could never do it. Though, I did not do well I always look to the fact that I even took that opportunity.
    All in all, that was fifth grade. Singing was something I never wanted to give up. I went to middle school and there was a music group there that I joined. But, I loved music more than just being in a little group where we learned about music for forty five minutes. So I began to do covers in my room, and eventually I made some public covers to share with others. Though, I think my gift is singing. If I did not continue to just do what I love and want to learn how to become better I would know how to even use my gift. What got me here was my power to persevere. 


                                                                                   
When I was a Litmitless Child
 When I was a limitless child
 I thought there were so many boundaries                                                               
 No being whatever you put your mind to
No being what ever you wanted to be when you grew up 
But sometimes where you are from, can make you
But Don't let it 
Instead let it take you some here greater
But instead of staying one side minded I looked to the brighter side
And Day by day I grew older
 With a clear mind I tried new things
 Some were good. some were bad
But for every mistake, there can be a lesson
  So never give up
  Keep going 
  No matter what 
                                                                   

Dear Mama, 

    All of my life you have done for me, but I do not want you to think it ever goes unnoticed. I am writing you this letter because I want you to know how thankful I am for having a mother like you. I know this may sound like another cliche thank you to a mother coming from her daughter. But, there is nothing in this world that compares to having a mother. A mother is someone who nurtures you and shows you what love is.  I would not be the person I am today if it were not for you.
    You never failed to let me see the purpose in what you did for me. Not only are you still showing me the ropes to life, you also have another pair of eyes which is my sister looking up to you. Thinking about how I used to be, sometimes leaves me in awe of how much you can help someone with just words of wisdom. For a while, in my younger teenager years I was confused and sometimes did very dumb things. I remember when you used to somehow get yourself to still talk to me and teach me the right way to handle things. You never failed to tell me "One day Janely, your going to be like wow my mom was right". It amazes me how right you actually were. 
    There is nothing like having a mother that does not give up on you when sometimes she probably should have. But a woman needs someone as nurturing as a mother could be. I feel like because you had me at such a young age that it sort of feels like we grew up with each other. There were days that you made mistakes. But you learned from them and so did I just by watching you. It felt like it was just me and you against the world. I always knew you would do anything you had to just so that I could be the young woman I am today. A lot of people always tell me that they get a mother vibe off of me, and I always think it is because of you. You raised me to always look at myself and never think of what I am doing as perfect, there is always room for improvement. Me knowing that there is always ways to better yourself allows me to want to help others. I do not try to be intrusive on peoples ways, I just try to get them to see the positivity in different situations. But, just like you I know I could be a better woman. I wish to be as strong as you are. You are the strongest woman I know when it comes to handling life's hardships for your kids. I want my kids to feel as secure as I do knowing that I have a mother that is willing to protect me with her mind, body and soul; and for that I will always love you and my gratitude for you being my mother is endless. 

 ♥

                             Who am I without you
                             When everything I am wouldnt exist if it weren't for you
                             Whatever you may need 
                             I hope you know you can call your daughter, Indeed
                             There will never be a day that I turn my back
                             For I wouldn't be able to live with the fact
                             That I didn't hold you down when things fell down
                             Your struggles are our struggles
                             There could never be another love so unconditional 
                             In addition to, they things you do
                             You never let me forget to
                             be grateful for you 





    

Not So Plain Jane

       It is always weird to start off an essay about yourself, so this is my weird sentence that perfectly describes me. I am just a small Latina woman in this big overwhelming world. I am from Boston. Boston has raised me all my life, and I would not have it any other way. Somewhere, in some point of time both of my parents met and made me; a puerto rican baby in Boston. What is so special about being Puerto Rican in Boston? There is not anything quite special about that, But me being Puerto Rican gives me the pep in my step and me being from Boston lets people know I am a rough city girl. 

         This world can seem so small sometimes when you have not figured out what makes you happy. Once you figure out what brings joy to your life, doors open, the world opens up just a little more for you. When I was about 8, I lived with my mother and grandmother along with her other children. My grandmothers children were only a few years older than me. My uncles and aunts felt like they were my siblings that I never had just because we were so close in age. When we were young we loved listening and dancing to music. Until, one day I was intrigued by not just the music but the art in the person singing the song. I felt like there was nothing cooler than being able to sing. Days passed, and I could not forget the singers art in her voice. I wanted to be able to do exactly what she was doing. So, I told myself I would teach myself, because I knew my mom did not have enough money to pay for a singing coach. I stuck to practicing for years. Even when I knew I was not so good at singing I still watched countless videos to persevere and become a great singer. Now, here I am where people ask me to sing on their songs. Looking back, I did not think I could actually teach myself something this artistic. I thought that I had to have the natural talent, and maybe I did, but that means I brought my natural ability to sing to the next level by teaching myself other styles of singing. I have never let go of singing since, because it is what gives me my joy. I would not be Janely if I could not sing. Singing allows me to free myself whenever I am angry, sad, or even happy. I believe people need their own escape in this world. This world is huge and there are endless problems that we encounter but as long as we find our escape we are at our own peace. 

         Growing up, I have a close relationship with my mother and father. But, because my mother raised me as a single mother I have a closer relationship with her. Most people would say I am just like her. My mom had me at a very young age, so I like to think of it as if we grew up together. I was there for her mistakes when she was not wise enough as she is now. I am a reflection of my mother. I always try to think about how I am different from her, but I can never think of many differences. My friends would say I get my passion from her. They believe I am passionate because I will never let go of something or an Idea if I believe in it. Whether I am right or wrong about something, I will always let it be known about how I feel about the particular situation without fear or intimidation. My friends would also describe me as a very sensitive person. One thing about me is that I am very emotional because it is hard for  me to hide my feelings. I would say I do have my obvious differences from my mother but I get a lot of my traits from her. 

I - I

M- Must

A- Always

Y- Yearn to become better

N- Never say Never

O- Overturn your struggle

T- Teach

U- Urban

N- Neglect Negativity 

D- Dreams bigger than my reality

E- Eternal happiness

R- Respect

S- Strive

T- Try

A- A young queen

N- Never Settles she Seeks

D- Dont give up

T- There are endless possibilities

H- However, You may get caught in lifes crazy but 

E- Even when life gets you down

G- Go Harder

O- Overturn struggles

O- Our problem is that we

D- Dont push eachother to become the young

I- Intelligent people that we truly are

N- Never let anyone tell you differently

T- Things never get easier they get 

H- Harder

I- If you

S- Stop Now You will feel 

S- Stuck

I- In a box

T- That you put yourself into

U- Usually 

A- All of us 

T- Tend to give up on oursleves

I- Instead, lets change and 

O- Overcome 

N- Now lets all motivate one another to

Y- Yearn to become a better person

E- Evaluate

T- The

B- Bad and outweigh the good

U- Unique

T- Trust

I- I am 

T- Thankful for the life that

I- I live even though I do not have everything I want

S- Someday I will get 

T-There

H- Hardship

E- Educated

R- Rambunctious

E- Emotional